Enter the flat-pack battlefield armed with the truth: how many pieces, which tools, who's helping, and how many drinks deep you are. It will forecast your evening with alarming accuracy.
Forecast = pieces ÷ (experience × tool multiplier) plus chaos penalties from helpers, drinks and ignored manuals. The model also applies the Leftover Screw Theorem: any successful assembly produces between one and three screws of mysterious provenance. They are the house’s now.